Happy 1st Baby Girl

My baby girl is turning a whole year come Sunday. When I look back on what this whole year has brought to us, it makes me smile. When I was pregnant with Emily I couldn't even comprehend the idea of having a baby! To me it was as if I was just growing a belly. Even with the little butterfly flutters from the first movements she made, it was unbelievable. If I couldn't see her or hear her I couldn't even think of what she could possibly look like or what kind of personality she would have. When I was probably six months pregnant I had a dream that I had the baby and she had dark hair and olive skin and she looked a lot like my dad's side and when I woke up, I had it in my mind that I would end up with a dark baby. Perhaps, looking back on it now, the dream was telling me that Emily inside would have a Latin soul! She defiantly shakes her booty like one. But when I came down to the last month of my pregnancy things started to become real for me. I could feel her a lot more because of how cramped she had gotten. She would constantly move around from the top of my stomach to the middle, I always thought she was elbowing me. Even though I felt like a beached whale and my feet looked as swollen as elephant feet, the last month was my favorite. Sure all you women are probably thinking, "seriously? The last month was your favorite?" but it really was. And the reason is because she moved around SOOO much during that last month, almost like she couldn't wait. (even though she obviously could because she waited a whole week). But I absolutely loved feeling her move this way and that, making her self as comfortable as she possibly could. It really made me feel connected because, even though I had been carrying that baby for eight months already, I finally realized that there was a baby in there and I was her mommy.

The day Emily was born we were doing normal stuff. It had been a whole week past her due date and I was thinking she wasn't going to come until they induced me at my appointment that day. And even then I was thinking she would wait until the next day. I kept thinking, "okay the next day is the 12th, yeah, twelve is a good number". Anyway, that morning Justin, Melissa and I got in our little red Hyundai and drove 30 minutes to Salt Lake to pick up my sister Krystal. She had decided to fly up from Phoenix to be with me since all our family (except Melissa) and left a week too early since Emily never came. I was really glad that she had decided to come because, even though I love Melissa, she didn't have any experience. And Krystal had a baby just 2 months before. When we got Krystal we stopped to eat at a Wendy's on our way back and I remember being nervous about eating food before going in to be induced since I had heard so many different horror stories about upchucking in the delivery room from all the pain. Krystal convinced me that my appointment was far enough away that it wouldn't make a difference. So I believed her. Well, as soon as we got back home we dropped off Krystal and Melissa and went to my appointment. I've probably told this story a million times so to be brief as soon as got there Justin had to go back to get my hospital bag (which we had no hopes of being ready to have a baby since she was so laaate) and my sisters. I was in such a "favorable" condition that they started up everything right away! They got me started at four p.m and Emily was born at 10:11 pm July 11th 2009. It could not have been a better delivery! I was so numb Justin could have stabbed me in the leg and I would have been smiling still! Justin thought she was perfect, I thought she was perfect! She had ten fingers and ten toes. She weighed 8 lbs 15 oz. 19 inches long. Even as exhausted as I was, nothing felt better than feeling that warm little body in my arms. Feeling how much she weighed and fit so perfectly in the crook of my elbow. She had her eyes opened right away, staring back up at me and moving her little mouth like she was saying, "Mommy I'm here! And I'm sorry I took so long but the 11th was MY day". She was exactly what Justin exclaimed when he saw her. Perfect. She continues to be what we thought of her the moment we saw her. She will always be our baby. There is just something so special about your first child that stays in your hearts forever. I loved her from day one and from then my love for her just went up a million times over every single day I was with her! She is my baby and she always will be. Even now that she is turning one and is considered a toddler...she is my baby. Even when she becomes a teenager she will still be my baby. It's sad to me to think that from here on out she'll start to want to be more independent and do things without Mommy. And...well, holding her at night and snuggling with her probably won't last forever either. But for now, she is my baby and I will hold on to her and snuggle her for as long as she will let me.

Happy Birthay: Emily Rachel Pardee.